Wild Inside (Four Corners Book 2) Read online

  Matthew didn’t shave, of course. He thought it was “pansy” for a man to shave anything but his face. She told him it would only take one episode of having his skin ripped to shreds after a bad crash before he’d rethink his definition of pansy. Not that he would ever find out. She’d tried to get him on a bike, even just to tool around town, but he showed no interest in it.

  Diana felt a mild stab of pain, more obvious now that she wasn’t on her bike. But the view was gorgeous and she felt so much gratitude for getting to visit Red Rim and do what she loved, for temporarily escaping the frustrations of real life. The truth was, she loved Matthew and he loved her, but they had issues. What happened Friday night happened a lot, and Matthew had remained in denial about it. It was like he hoped that if he ignored the problem, it would eventually go away.

  Diana wanted to be patient with him. After all, it’s what she would want if she were in his shoes. Nobody was perfect. Everyone had issues and insecurities. But Matthew had gotten stuck and refused to deal with it… and, truthfully, it was frustrating for her. She would never make an intimate relationship just about sex. There was so much more that was important—love, commitment, shared values, emotional intimacy. But she had needs too, and every time she thought about spending her life having sex that was polite and sweet at best, and disappointing and frustrating at worst, she felt a little depressed.

  She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t talk to anyone about it. She couldn’t bear for her friends to know about something so personal. Not for her sake—she was an open book—but for Matthew’s sake. How would she feel if she had a sexual problem and found out that her partner told all his buddies about it, just so they could then look at her differently, like they felt sorry for her? No, to share would be to dishonor Matthew and the good man he was. It wasn’t his fault that his parents had raised him like they had, where sex was considered sinful unless engaged in for procreation, and where he’d been slapped and shamed the one time his mother caught him masturbating.

  And it didn’t help that she was sitting next to one of the hottest guys she’d ever seen, and one who seemed perfectly comfortable with his sexuality. One who could probably plow his eager partner until she was fully satisfied, and offer up that same megawatt smile afterward.

  But that couldn’t be helped. She was horny; it had been a while since she’d gotten off with Matthew. The last several times they’d tried, he’d either gone limp or, if hard, come before they even got started. She knew how to ask for what she wanted and needed—she was a grown-up, after all—but when she saw the humiliation on Matthew’s face, she just couldn’t ask him to pleasure her. She wanted to be pleasured by someone who felt pleasure himself, not insecurity and misery.

  “Deep in thought, Venus?” Asher said, interrupting her ruminations.

  Diana snapped back to attention, raising an eyebrow. “Is that a standard part of your repertoire with women? Calling them goddess names?”

  He sipped his water. “I’ve been known to give women nicknames, but I base them on some fundamental aspect of who they really are. One woman I dated had a fiery temper, so I called her Fire Witch.”

  “And she liked that?”

  “She loved it. I called another intellectual woman—she had a PhD—Professor. From the very get-go. She answered to it because it fit her.” Asher looked at her, his eyes raking down her body and back up again with no shame. “You, you’re a Venus. You’re passionate through and through, whether you know it or not.”

  “That’s pretty presumptuous.”

  “But correct.”

  Diana laughed and shook her head. “Whatever.”

  What a flirt. Sure, she loved sex and people did joke about her Mediterranean passion. But so what? That didn’t make her Venus. She was just a regular girl who wanted regular things, like a good job and a family.

  Asher took out a bag of something brown and offered her some. “Beef jerky? I make it myself…”

  Diana took a piece and bit down on it. It was tender, not chewy, and just the right amount of salty. “That’s so good. The salt is perfect on a hot day.”

  “It’s gotten me through a lot of long-ass rides. And races.”

  “How long?”

  “A hundred miles or more, in some cases…”

  Diana gaped at him. “You’ve done the Red Rim Ultra?” The Red Rim Ultra was a 100-mile endurance race where mountain bikers took to the Utah slickrock and battled crazy weather conditions, mechanical issues, flat tires, crashes, and physical exhaustion. She’d never met anyone who’d done the race, until now.

  Asher nodded. “Seven times, not including the time I had to drop out.”

  “Holy shit!” She paused. “I don’t know why I’m surprised. You ride like someone who’s been on the trails a long time.”

  He smiled. “You noticed, huh?”

  She rolled her eyes, taking another bite of the jerky.

  “You ever race?” he asked.

  Diana shook her head. “I just ride for fun and stress release. Did you race professionally?”

  “Yep. Then I retired and bought the shop.”

  “Bike shop, I assume?”

  He nodded. “Red Rim Cycles, on Main Street.”

  “Okay, I’ve heard of that place. That’s yours? Nice.”

  “What about you? What do you do in Junction?”

  “I work for Grand Valley Schools. I’m a school psychologist.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “You work with kids? That’s awesome. They must fall in love with you. The boys, anyway. And maybe a girl or two.” He grinned.

  “Not quite. They’re too busy navigating puberty and getting emo over every little thing.”

  “Ah, middle school then. Yeah, middle school is hell. I was a nightmare at that age. But I’d have behaved real quick if I had you as a counselor.” His eyes gleamed, like he enjoyed flirting with her just to see how she would react. When she shook her head, he added, “Not because you’re beautiful and I’d have had a giant crush on you… but because you’re tougher than you look. You’re Venus who doesn’t take shit from anyone.”

  She laughed, taking another bite of jerky. “Only when I have to be. So, how long have you been in Red Rim?”

  “Moved here from Ogden… shit, thirteen years ago.”

  “You’re a Utah native? But not a practicing Mormon, I would guess…”

  He scowled. “Fuck no. I gave that up the moment I had the chance.” He paused. “Any kids? I assume no, if you’re out here with us…”

  Diana hesitated. That topic. “No. No kids.”

  Asher watched her with observant eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up a sore subject.”

  She shrugged. “It’s not,” she lied. “I’ve still got time. I just… I never thought I would be thirty-five and not have kids yet. But you’re a guy. You wouldn’t understand.”

  “I understand better than you think. I love kids. I’d have ten if I could. But, as you’ve probably guessed by now, I’m not the settle-down, get-a-nine-to-five-job, and be-a-provider kind of guy. I like my freedom.” He looked at her with an interesting expression, almost as if he dared her to challenge him.

  She smiled. “A true wild man, huh? Well, there’s always the future. Freedom, at least the kind you’re talking about, gets old.”

  Asher leaned back on his tattooed arms, gazing out over the valley below them. “Maybe. But I’m already thirty-six, and I don’t want to start raising kids when I’m pushing fifty. I know guys who’ve done that and it’s fine for them, but I want to take my kids biking without worrying about tearing myself up. Mountain biking isn’t an old man’s sport.”

  Diana nodded. “I guess I can see your point.”

  “You guys want to get going again?” Annie called over to them.

  A flash of disappointment shot through her at the interruption. For reasons she couldn’t explain, she could’ve sat on that rock and talked to Asher all day long. But instead, she and Asher stood up, put their helmets back
on, and resumed their ride.

  They continued on through narrow trails and over rocks and up and down hills, Diana keeping up fine despite her mild nagging pain and growing fatigue. When they got back to the trailhead after noon, Diana felt spent in the best way possible, but also bummed that the ride was over.

  “Thanks again, you guys,” she told them. “For letting me crash your party. I had a blast.”

  “Any time,” Annie said, and Diego nodded in agreement. “Mel’s got our numbers. Whenever you come back to town, let us know.”

  “We’re going to grab lunch at the brewery,” Asher said. “Come with us.”

  “I’d love to, but I need to get back and take care of my friend.”

  “Next time, then.”

  She nodded. Diana waved and pedaled to her Jeep. She peeled off her helmet and picked her bike up to load it onto her rack. But when a pain jolted through her abdomen and her arms shook with fatigue, she set her bike back down. It was time for a beer and another round of drugs.

  “Let me help you,” said a voice.

  Diana turned to find Asher there. He set his bike aside and picked up hers, securing it onto her rack.

  She smiled. “Thank you, sweetie.”

  Diana froze. Did she just call him sweetie? The pet name she reserved for those she cared about?

  Asher grinned. “Any time, Venus.” He glanced at her bike. “Your chain’s dirty. I’m happy to clean it for you before you head back to Junction…”

  “Thanks, but I should get going.” She held out her hand. “I’ve enjoyed riding with you.” And she had. Player or not, flirt or not, Asher was interesting and fun to be around, and she couldn’t help but admit that his presence made both rides more worthwhile. And even though he was a player and a shameless flirt, she saw no sign whatsoever that he was a bad boy.

  Asher chuckled at her attempt to shake his hand, ignoring it. “I’m more of a hugger than a hand-shaker,” he said matter-of-factly.

  When Diana offered no protest, Asher came in for a hug. It was a friendly hug, close enough to be the real thing but also short enough to not feel too intimate. Yet, there was something about that brief bodily contact with Asher’s lean, hard body that sent flames through her body. She smelled his sunscreen-and-sweat scent, making her want to hold on much longer and inhale that scent, to feel his heat against hers, to even feel him pressed up against her. Her face burned hot and she immediately felt guilt for her ridiculous thoughts. She had a boyfriend at home, for crying out loud!

  She backed away quickly, smiling awkwardly. “Thanks again, Asher. It was a pleasure talking to you.”

  “You too, Venus.”

  And Diana got into her Jeep and left.

  Chapter Four

  When Diana got back to Mel’s apartment, Mel was showering. A good sign.

  “How was Coyote?” Mel said when she emerged from the bathroom.

  Diana tossed her gear aside. “It was great. I got a flat, but with Asher’s help we got it repaired in no time.”

  “Yeah, that canyon is famous for flattening tires. Wait, Ash showed up? I thought it was just the four of you.”

  “It was. He came, but J.T. didn’t show.”

  “They probably switched shifts. J.T. works at Ash’s bike shop.” She began combing through her wet hair, grinning. “You know what? I’ll bet Ash found out you were going on the ride and switched with J.T.”

  “He did not.”

  Did he?

  Mel scoffed. “Wouldn’t surprise me. He’s a sucker for a pretty girl on a bike.” She grabbed a root beer from the fridge. “You interested?”

  Diana’s face grew hot again. Seriously, what the hell? “No! Of course not.”

  “You sure?”

  “I have a boyfriend, and I love him.”

  Mel took a swig of root beer. “Still with that guy, huh?”

  Diana scowled. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t mean to be a bitch, okay? I just… I don’t get it. You want a husband and a family, and he’s already done all that.”

  “He wants those things too, Mel. It’s not like you only get one chance at having a family.”

  “Yeah, but he doesn’t even bike. And what about all those times he griped when you wanted to come and hang out here for the weekend? You had to convince him it was ‘girl time’ instead of just saying, dude, I’m going to ride with my friends. It’s like he’s possessive of you.”

  Diana sighed. “Maybe a little. I’ve talked to him about that and he didn’t complain at all this time around.” She didn’t mention that Matthew probably didn’t mind her going because he didn’t want to face her after what happened Friday night.

  “I can tell things aren’t great with you guys, D. You haven’t talked about him at all.”

  Diana sighed and sank down into a chair. “You’re right. We’ve had some issues. But we’re working on them.”

  “Well, if things don’t work out, keep Ash in mind. He’s not husband material, but for a short-term fling? You could do a lot worse.”

  “I don’t do flings, sweetie. And I would never go for a guy like Asher. I like regular guys who want marriage and a normal life. I know that sounds oh-so-boring to you, but that’s me.”

  “You just… you’re more adventurous than that.”

  “I’m not, Mel! I’m just an old-fashioned girl who likes country music and wants a picket fence.”

  “Whatever you say, D.”

  Another wave of pain shot through Diana. “I’m tired and in pain. I need a shower and some drugs.”

  “The endo again?”

  “Unfortunately.”

  “What does the doc say?”

  “The same old thing. I need to go on the Pill, or the pain is only going to get worse and I’ll wind up needing a hysterectomy.” Diana shook her head. “A freaking hysterectomy. At thirty-five!”

  “Why not the Pill?”

  “It makes me feel awful. The side effects. I’ve tried a bunch of them, too. And it didn’t even get that much better when I did try it.”

  “You ever thought about alternative medicine? We’ve got this great acupuncturist here…”

  “There’s no scientific evidence that any of that works. They’ve found that vitamins and exercise help, and I already do both.”

  “That sucks, D. I’m sorry for what it’s done to you, and to your life.”

  Diana gave a tiny smile. “Thank you, sweetie. But there are a lot of people in the world who have it much worse than I do, and I’m going to count my blessings.”

  She swallowed another handful of meds, wondering if she should’ve purchased stock in Advil years ago, given how much of it she took. It couldn’t be good for her. But what choice did she have? There was no cure for endometriosis. They didn’t even know what caused it. She just had to deal with it the best she could.

  After a shower and the meds kicking in, Diana felt better. She made them both dinner, and they ate together before Diana finally packed up her car. When she went to hug her friend, Mel backed away.

  “I don’t want you to get sick,” Mel said. “You’ve done more than enough by taking care of me.”

  “Thank you for letting me crash. I missed you on the trails!”

  “Any time, D. Come back soon, okay?”

  “School starts up in a couple weeks, so I’ll be busier, but I’ll come out as soon as I can, I promise.”

  Diana turned up her country rock station as she drove east. What a great weekend. Sure, it would’ve been even better if Mel hadn’t gotten sick, but things turned out pretty well, considering. She got to explore two new trails, and she found some potential riding partners for her future trips to Red Rim. Mel was fun to ride with, but the more the merrier, as far as Diana was concerned.

  Her stomach did a somersault when she thought about Asher. What an interesting guy. And that hug. What was up with that? It was a hug, for crying out loud. A hug from a guy she’d never date and who couldn’t give her what she wanted
even if she did.

  Then why did it feel so good?

  She must be horny. Yes, that was it. And it made sense, given her and Matthew’s struggles. Maybe it was time to pull out Mr. Rabbit, her personal pleasure tool.

  No. She couldn’t do that. That was fine for single ladies, but to pleasure herself in a relationship because her partner was struggling? That seemed wrong.

  Or was it? If Matthew was working on his issues, wasn’t it better that she got herself off and took the pressure off him?

  Jiminy Christmas. Really? A debate over whether to masturbate? Whose religious upbringing was impacting whom here? She was a human being. She had needs. It had nothing to do with Asher or that hug. She was a hugger too and hugged people all the time. So what if it stirred her up? At this point, a hug from any decent-looking guy would probably do the same.

  Her phone rang. It was Matthew. She put him on speaker.

  “Hi, sweetie,” she said.

  “Hey, baby. When are you coming home?”

  “I’m on my way. I should be there in less than an hour. What did you do today?”

  “Went shopping.”

  Diana laughed. “Shopping? You?”

  “Well, not shopping. More browsing, if you will. For ideas.”

  By the tone of his voice, Matthew had something up his sleeve. Like maybe he’d been looking for a gift for her. Or, even better, at engagement rings. “That sounds promising…” she sing-songed, her smile widening.

  “It should. I don’t shop for anything unless it’s important.” He paused. “Hey, Diana, I’m sorry. You know, about…” He couldn’t even say it. “I’ve had some time to think and maybe you’re right. Maybe I still have some residual issues from my upbringing, and I’m going to look into it.”

  Diana smiled, her heart warming. “I’m so glad to hear it. I know it’s hard to begin, but it will be so worth it to work through all that.”

  “I missed you this weekend.”

  “I missed you too, sweetie.”

  “Can you come over tonight? The boys won’t mind…”

  “Sure. I’ll drop off my stuff and head over.”